LAWYER | eXclusivOR 2.2
I liked setting up Exclusivor as a badass here. This one turned out okay, but I positively cringe when I hear the beginning. It's just so dorky.
It was... a party!! It was like a party broke out. The lawyers surrounding my hospital bed were smiling. High fives. There was champagne. Dancing. Cheering. They were excited because I'd agreed to help them nail Exclusivor. It was a deal. I help them, and when Exclusivor was in custody. Then they would drop most of the charges they'd stacked against me. It was a combination of lawyers from the DA's office and a team of federal prosecutors.
And I meant it. I'd help 'em. Exclusivor had decimated my life. I just wanted it back. Take her, whatever. Just return my life.
The party died out and a bit later a nurse came in and said, "Bad news, no more morphine. Your lawyer is making a stink about it. She wants you sober and clear-minded."
I'm like, what? My lawyer? "I don't have a lawyer."
I mean, any time someone asked me a question, my response was, "I want a lawyer."
"Where is Exclusivor?" "I want a lawyer."
"Who gave you 500 bitcoin?" "I want a lawyer"
And, I meant to get a lawyer, but I hadn't gotten that far. In my defense, the pain meds were pretty cool. I was high as a kite. And, I liked it. That's probably why I agreed to turn on Exclusivor. Without a lawyer present.
Mostly I just moaned in agony and watched game shows on the TV up on the wall. My mom was surely wondering where I was. And also my boss Geraldine was probably freaking out. Someone should be watching my Atomic Lathe, or it would be a disaster. I hadn't even been arraigned or anything. The cops were probably waiting until after I healed a bit. Obviously they had no interest parading me in a public court room. Looking like a member of Fight Club.
I just want to be free. Secondarily, I'd take a lifetime supply of morphine. Now they say I have a lawyer? Huh. I wonder who it is.
Remember that agent who showed me the video of getting beaten by Fishburne? Instead of being stationed outside my door, since the party with all the lawyers, he's been in my room, by my bed. He's supposed to be watching me watch game shows. But he's really watching games shows with me. I guess they were worried Exclusivor do something. I dunno. Felt weird though. I didn't want to go anywhere at all. I was in a lot of pain. It hurt to move.
This agent, his name is Benson, looks like he's too young to shave, But he's got the stories of an old war vet. Only thing he won't discuss is that video on his phone. The one he showed me, where Fishburne is bashing my brains in. Who shot it? Where did it come from? Can I use it as evidence? This agent's boss came in a couple of times, too. Special Agent Jackson. Jackson wears a permanent look of contempt. The look is so strong that I could taste the smell of it. Benson says Jackson was hacked once. Hates hackers.
I get it. No one likes to be hacked. When not watching TV with Benson, I spent my time wondering, "Who is my lawyer?" That is, until my lawyer walked in. Strutted in.
I was eating soup, and had a mouthful of soup. When she swashbuckled her way through the door. As only Exclusivor could. I did a spit take, spitting soup all over the Agent Benson. Exclusivor just waltzed past a group of agents dedicated to finding her. And now she stands next to my bed. Claiming to be my lawyer. Incredible.
Benson went to my bathroom to clean up, Which is why he didn't hear me say "Zoe?! What the hell?" Benson would have arrested Exclusivor on the spot. And boom, I'd be a free man. Exclusivor gave me a mean look and said, "Play along. I've got your mom. Act like I'm your lawyer." I tried to sit up, but the restraints around my wrist prevented it.
My mom!? Exclusivor's got my mom?! What's that mean? Like, in a locked room or something? Agent Benson came back before I could ask. I had told the Feds I'd gladly turn Exclusivor in, But I had to find out what she was doing to my mom first. Exclusivor looked a lot better. No back brace. Walked easily. I whispered "Leave my mom alone." She shook her head and said loudly, for the agent, "Sean, your family is fine. I'm keeping an eye on them. If you cooperate with me, we'll all be fine. All of us."
Then she turned to Agent Benson and said, "Please excuse us, we have a privileged meeting." The agent looked at her and said, "A little young for a lawyer, aren't you?" Exclusivor said, "I could say the same, Agent Kiddo. Now get beat it, client-attorney privilege." Benson shook his head and said, "Nope, I stay."
Then Exclusivor said, "Fine." And I was like, well she's not much of a lawyer if she's fine with that. Then she just pulled out a laptop -- MY LAPTOP! I'm gonna just say that even though I love my mom. Seeing my laptop again like that almost made me shout to Benson, "This is Exclusivor, arrest her!!" But, mom won.
Exclusivor flipped my computer open, And started asking lawyerly things while typing on it. I can't remember what she asked, but it sounded like stuff a lawyer would ask. And the whole time, she's typing, banging away on the keyboard. Agent Benson was on his phone again. Exclusivor said, "Can you turn down the volume?" The agent was watching some stupid "Near miss" videos on youtube. He said, "No." It was a little tense. And a little while later, the Benson exclaimed suddenly, "Oh, yeah!" I could see his screen. An Airdrop dialogue prompt asking him to accept a file popped up. Before I could tell him to never, ever accept Airdrop if you don't know what they are, he tapped okay and a video opened.
Then he started "ooo"ing. And he was "aah"ing. He showed me the phone. Someone had sent him porn.
After about twenty minutes of loud moaning coming from Agent Benson's phone. And Exclusivor asking me all these lawyer questions. And typing a lot. And not mentioning anything about Lita, Stoney, Avanta, or Q. And more loud moaning coming from the Benson's phone. Benson suddenly stood up. And he went to the bathroom. I don't even want to discuss why. Exclusivor watched him then said, "Finally. I sent that video to him. Thought he'd cave a lot quicker. The video was really a metasploit payload. For the last twenty minutes, I've been exfiltrating his phone. Got his, photos, emails, texts." Then she asked how I was doing. I was doing terrible, I told her. I didn't tell her about my deal to turn her in. But, she already knew about it. She said, "They don't plan to honor the deal. They have a deal with Spain to extradite you for a hack on Banca de Espana." Exclusivor would lie about anything to get her way.
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I told her that Stoney and Lita had been arrested, too. And that I saw Avanta at work. And that this agent had a video of me being beaten. I started to feel really mad. I almost yelled at her, "You've ruined my life!"
Exclusivor didn't even bat an eye. She said, "Chill, okay. Your life wasn't that great before, and now you are friends with me." I wanted to said, "Friends?" But honestly, that she considered me a friend was just so flabbergasting. So flabbergasting, I couldn't find words.
Then she got up and said, "I'm working on it. I'll get you out of this. Don't worry about your mom, it's cool. We baked cookies last night." Exclusivor left my room, saying she'd be back tomorrow.
Baking cookies? What was I doing? I should have turned her in anyway. Boom, I'm out of this. Get mom out of that. My laptop would be mine. I could go back to work.
I decided that I had to set her up. When Exclusivor came back tomorrow, I'd turn her in, I had to. I was time to think about me.